By definition an X ray technician has to see things that people aren’t meant to. Throughout history seeing bones with your own eyes meant that something had gone seriously, usually cripplingly wrong somewhere, and all that was left was the screaming. Modern medical advances (and high energy emissions!) means we can now see inside people without breaking them open, and use the knowledge to fix problems we didn’t know about before.
Unfortunately those problems are only physical. The mental problems from witnessing the following might takes slightly longer.
1. False Teeth
One woman arrived in hospital with two sets of teeth, but she wasn’t like the Aliens. Even though the second set was trying to burst out of her chest cavity. An X-ray technician discovered a set of false teeth inside her. She explained that her lover had been experimenting with a new type of “very passionate kiss”, and those three words must have done more damage to the poor technician’s mind-scape than “imaginary thermonuclear bomb.”
The couple are clearly old enough to have bits of their own faces falling out. Elderly sexuality is of course entirely natural and healthy, just not the sort of thing you should have to see in electromagnetic detail. And you just know the poor staff were left picturing what exactly these two were doing at each other so hard that teeth could end up inside the wrong person. Probably late at night, when they were trying to sleep.
2. Tape Worm
You might think that living in a first world country with advanced medical technology which can actually see through people might mean you don’t see tapeworm. But while we’ve defeated much of the crushing poverty and disease of human history, we’ve barely made a dent in the stupidity. People now voluntarily consume tapeworm in order to lose weight, then expecting medical professionals to fix them. Unfortunately x ray technicians aren’t allowed to decide who’s worth saving despite having photographic proof of who isn’t.
3. A 10lb Hairball
One of the things about x ray technicians is that they’re good at recognizing humans. You get like that when you see something inside and out. Which is why one poor tech, despite having clearly identified that an 18 year old woman in his facility clearly wasn’t a cat, discovered an 18 lb hairball lodged in her stomach. That’s over seven kilos of extra matter in the abdomen but instead of being incredibly pregnant, the girl was just keen on eating her own hair. Presumably the tech set up a scratching post and rolled up a newspaper to keep her away from radioactive parts of the machine.
4. Salad Tongs And Vibrator
Finding a vibrator inside someone isn’t completely unusual, though the levels of enthusiasm and carelessness required to end up in hospital can be a little embarrassing. Which is why one man tried to save himself the hassle by going in after it himself. With salad tongs. Because you’re reading this hear you can guess how well that went. Or how the word “well”, or anything positive, can’t be used in regard to such excavation plans.
5. Cement Enema
One thing we can confirm is that you are boring at sex, but don’t be insulted, because compared to this next story Caligula was a pedestrian lover. And you probably haven’t had to explain a solid concrete enema to an x ray technician. As you can see, the “exciting” option isn’t always the better one. A dangerously adventurous couple employed a funnel, enema mix and concrete powder in what can only have been a deeply ill-advised attempt to cast the man’s colon. And thanks to the mind-scarring of an x ray technician, they now have detailed pictures to treasure forever.
