Canada Institutes Gun Ban, Reverts Back to Knives Made of Bacon

Canadian bacon is preparing to weaponize. Because when it comes to maple syrup, hockey, and guns, Canada does not mess around. And after witnessing the insanity of mass shootings in America, they’re preparing to institute a gun ban that will cap (no pun intended) the number of firearms in their country. Luckily, the bacon in Canada is substantial.

It’s a bold move from a country not famous for bold moves.

It comes on the heels of a rise in gun violence in the Great White North, including a 2020 mass shooting in Novia Scotia that left 22 dead. Not to mention, just two days after the Uvalde shooting, a young Toronto man carrying a rifle near a school was shot and killed by police (with no other injuries.)

For now, Justin Trudeau’s gun ban is targeting handguns, which account for 66 percent of all gun violence in Canada. (Automatic weapons bans already happened in 2020 following Nova Scotia.) It also includes red flag measures for those convicted of domestic violence and stalking.

Of course, not everyone is happy about the freeze on guns. Gun store owners and other firearm proponents believe the assault on guns is purely political, citing Canada’s already stringent laws. U.S. conservatives are also expressing their displeasure, with one congressman calling the regulations a road to a “dystopian future.” Clearly unaware of the irony that his country, with the highest rate of incarceration, mass shootings, and healthcare debt is currently experiencing a dystopian present.

Gun bans aside, American black market exporters will likely continue smuggling guns into Canada. Still, it’s fascinating to watch how swiftly other bureaucracies act in the face of overwhelming tragedy. Except in the case of bacon, which kills 1 in 12 Canadians and will likely continue unchecked.

Cover Photo: Anna Moneymaker (Getty Images)