Meanwhile in Spain: Horny Tourists Turning Sex on the Beach From Popular Cocktail to Natural Disaster, Ruining Sand Dunes

Leave it to humans to ruin everything beautiful and natural in the world. The latest way people are destroying Mother Earth might surprise you – it’s sex on the beach. No, we’re not talking about the fruity cocktail. We’re talking about fornication.

Apparently, tourists are getting it on so fervently at the Dunas de Maspalomas Special Nature Reserve on the Spanish island of Gran Canaria that the area’s “bushy and dense” (ahem) vegetation is being destroyed.

This sad news was published in a new paper in the Journal of Environmental Management. Titled “Sand, Sun, Sea and Sex with Strangers, The ‘Five S’s. Characterizing ‘Cruising’ Activity and Its Environmental Impacts on a Protected Coastal Dunefield,” it described how researchers delved into 298 “sex spots” and discovered that all that nookie is devastating to the natural plants and the nebkhas (or dunes) of the site. They’re calling the phenomenon “cruiser trampling.”

To add insult to injury, the frisky visitors are leaving a trail of trash behind. The report detailed how men and women make sex “nests” where they get off, then dump garbage like cigarettes, toilet paper, wipes, cans, and condoms there. Giant Gran Canaria lizards have been known to die after ingesting the discarded rubbers in the area.

The shameless seaside fuckers even use the dunes like makeshift port-a-potties, peeing and pooping before leaving the site. We know that nature calls at inconvenient times, but come on, people! A little decency, please!

Interestingly, the authors of the study aren’t asking people to stop boinking al fresco, but rather to do so more conscientiously.

“We’re not calling for an end to public sex — but we do want people to be aware of the damage it can do,” wrote Patrick Hesp.

Do your part, Mandatory readers; if you must smash in the great outdoors, be sure you leave no trace behind. Don’t you want outdoor sex sites to be preserved for generations to (um) come?

Cover Photo: YouraPechkin (Getty Images)

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